So I’m about 2 and a half weeks away from my due date. Throughout this whole pregnancy, I never had any kind of breakdown, and I never got mad quickly. If I got upset it was for a good reason.
I don’t know what was up with today. It started off good, and I think everything started just tumbling down. My daughter is busy getting ready for her first hula performance on Saturday. I guess I feel so overwhelmed with all I have to do, and my very pregnant self just wants to rest.
My daughter refused for my husband to come with us to practice tonight, so I still had to drive despite my painful carpal tunnel hands, my aching back, and the pressure I feel down below. I’m tired no matter how many naps I take, and all I wanted to do was rest. Then they close the gate for like 10-15 minutes, so my grouchiness goes up a notch. Before we get into the studio, I tell my daughter, no messing around, she better practice, and the second I see her goofing off, we’re going home. My daughter was good. The other kids, on the other hand, kept messing up, so it took them like 15 times to get one song down.
I was tired, in pain, and hungry. My grouchiness was going up a few notches by then. Her age group is supposed to practice for only an hour, but because the performance is coming up, it went over, AND they wanted to go over costumes. I stayed for one costume, and after that I just about had it. I told one of the moms to just let me know if I miss anything and that I’m going home.
I tell my daughter no messing around when we get home. Eat dinner, shower, then go to bed. She has school tomorrow, and she has a strict bed time, because she has a hard time waking up in the morning. Which is why I hated that her practice went over. After dinner, she refuses to shower. My level of grouchiness was to the top and I didn’t feel like arguing with her. I closed the door on her, and showered by myself.
I don’t even have my second daughter yet, and I’m already stressing out on busy schedules. I started realizing that it’s going to get worse, and I just started crying in the shower. You know, your typical crying in the shower scene, but this time it’s a very pregnant mom. I was like this when I first had my first daughter. The lack of sleep got to me. I didn’t even have my second daughter yet and I’m already crying over how much time I don’t have, and how much sleep I need.
I’m in trouble.
Kiana From Hawaii 