Status of my Application: A SAHM’s Journey to a Job

It’s been almost two weeks since I submitted my application online. Read my previous post of the job fair and how I met these people from the hospital. She told me to apply and to email her if I didn’t hear back from anyone. I was unsure of how long I should wait. My husband didn’t even have a clue either. He’s been in the military for so long, we both didn’t know how this works. I figure a week and a half is more than enough. Enough time to show them that I’m not nagging and enough time to show them that I’m still super interested.

So I emailed one of the ladies that I had met at the job fair and thankfully she responded.

So now I wait. My heart is thumping hard, my tummy has butterflies, and my emotions are all over the place. I’m excited to finally do something for myself and help contribute to our family. On the other hand, I’m worried to put my youngest in day care. She has a late birthday so she didn’t make the cut to attend preschool here. I’m just leaving all of this in God’s hand and pray for the best.

Off Day

My happy days are on and off, and today it was off. I can’t talk about it with my husband because I don’t want him to feel like it’s his fault that we moved because I know it’s not. But bottling up my feelings doesn’t help either. I hate writing about it on Facebook because everyone tries to tell me how to feel and how not to feel. Just let me feel!!!

Still no car. I didn’t transfer my license to Texas yet because I have no way and they’re closed on the weekends. My cat possibly has a skin infection and I don’t know how she got the wound. I’m worried about all these new bills and my husband is looking for another car in a higher price range than I wanted to. I want to work but I hate imagining my youngest in day care. My life is just a big blah right now. Let’s see how I feel tomorrow. I can only pray.

Better Day in Abilene

My happy days are on and off and today was a good day. My weekends seem to be better because my husband is home with me. We have only one car so I’m home by myself with the girls with not much to do. Today was a good day. Took the girls to Maxx Air Park here in Abilene, got our home security system installed, and the girls played bubbles outside when the sun was about to go down because it was less hot at that time. Praying for more days like today.

Short video of today:

https://youtu.be/pMc-GYJh5w8

I Cried Today

I haven’t had a mommy breakdown in a while. That’s probably because I was on a long break from school. Ever since I started grad school again last week, I been on edge, short tempered, and emotional. I was holding in all my anger, and all my tears until now. I hate talking about it. I feel like it shows that I can’t handle things. I hate talking about my feelings when it deals with my kids, and my schooling. I chose this path in life and I shouldn’t complain right?

I have a ton of reading for class, and I need to start a paper. So when I’m not doing school work, it’s weighing heavily on my mind. My little one was taking a nap, and I thought it would be a great time to make dinner. I was making meatloaf muffins, so my hands were covered in raw meat. She woke up from her nap, started screaming for me, and I told her my hands were dirty and to hold on, as if talking to her would calm her down. She ran away screaming and I ignored her, because I needed to get these muffins in the oven. I wash my hands, and as I’m about to wash the dishes, I hear her crying in the bathroom. I ran to the bathroom and there she is standing in a huge ass puddle of pee. It’s everywhere! Like how much water did she drink before nap time? My bathroom mats are wet, her stool on the ground is wet. I wanted to scream and run away. Instead, I’m there, on my hands and knees, wiping up the pee with a towel and Lysol wipes. I threw the mat and towels in the wash. Washed my hands, and as I’m washing the dishes, everything just comes flowing back to me. Every little thing that got me upset the past couple weeks. I started to think how stressed I am. Thought of how maybe I’m not a great mom or wife. Though about how I yelled at my poor baby girl for peeing on the floor, it’s not her fault. I just thought how horrible of a mom I am. So yup, I’m standing there, washing dishes and crying my eyes out.

I think I need help.

I’m Back Beaches!!!

Well, it’s no surprise that I took a hiatus and returned after X amount of time. But difference now is that along with being a stay-at-home mom, I am now a grad student. I’m pursing a Master’s degree in Management focusing on Healthcare Administration.

Enough of the boring stuff, and on to the crazy, psycho, and emotional part of my life: being a wife and a mother.

Since I haven’t updated this blog in a long time, I doubt any of my followers still read this. But if you so happened to stumble upon this page, here’s a little sneaky peak into my life.

I’m Hawaii Native; born and raised. I am a wife; I been married to my husband for almost 13 years. I am a mother; I have two daughters, ages 8 and almost 3. My husband is in the Air Force, and we have lived in Washington state, Guam, and currently in Okinawa. We are due to leave next year. I have my BS in Computer studies, and as I stated earlier, I’m pursuing a master’s degree in something totally different. This is my blog. The place where I bitch and celebrate. You will read about my crazy children, sometimes my husband, my boring school life, and an occasional story about military family life. Mahalo.