Human Pacifier

I been breastfeeding for almost 9 months, and everything is good. However, I turned into her human pacifier. It started when she was around 7 months old. I was really tired one night, so when she woke up I laid her next to me in my bed and latched her on and went to sleep. When I woke up, I would put her back into her bed and that’s how the vicious cycle began. I knew she wasn’t waking up to eat, because as soon as she latched on, she would fall back asleep. She just needed me for comfort.

I know some moms wouldn’t see a problem in this, but our 6 year old already has problems sleeping on her own. She’ll start off in her bed, but will sneak into our room in the middle of the night. When she doesn’t have school, I gave up on arguing and she’s allowed to sleep with us from the start. Although we have a king sized bed, my back hurts in the morning because I’m in the middle of two kids. Plus, my husband and I just want our bed back. We want that space to be just ours again. I was a human pacifier to my first daughter and she still has sleeping problems 6 years later, so I’m trying something new this time around.

My baby’s bed used to be right next to me, but I just moved it back into her room, which she shares with her sister. I figured since my oldest doesn’t even sleep in there, it shouldn’t be a problem if my baby cries because I’m not giving in. I have already prepared myself mentally for this. I even told my friend about it in case she tries to hang out with me and I look like crap because I’m exhausted.

I already put her down to sleep, so all I can do is pray for patience, and hope that this goes by quickly.

Motherhood in a Month: June 22nd

7:15am: Girls woke me up. I looked at my phone thinking it’s too early to wake up on summer break. Hubby came in to kiss us goodbye and we all went in the living room. Turned on the tv and I was still fighting to stay awake. Baby was still fussy so I breastfed her and she fell back asleep. Which was my cue and I went back to sleep too. Woke up and saw my oldest cuddled with us sleeping with her Frozen blanket and was relieved that she wasn’t up by herself and went back to sleep. 

10:53am: Woke up, looked at my phone and was surprised to see that we totally skipped breakfast and that it was almost lunch time. First the baby woke up, then my oldest. Made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and warmed up a pizza that I had got yesterday from Kanehide. Made coffee and started to clean the living room. 

1:00pm: Baby started getting fussy. I’m breastfeeding her now and I think she might be going down for a nap. I need to vacuum, exercise, and prep for dinner. I’m hoping I can get everything done considering I had such a late start. 

  

So, I did everything that I wanted to. Put baby to sleep, washed clothes, and cleaned the kitchen, and loaded the dishes in the dishwasher. Baby woke up, put her in the carrier, and vacuumed. Walked on the treadmill for an hour while I watched Orange is the New Black. Went to the BX to get a new wallet. Are dinner and now we’re just watching the food network. 

Motherhood in a Month: June 11th

7:00am: Alarm goes off but I was kind of already awake. Baby girl had a horrible night, which means so did I. Maybe because she’s teething?? I really don’t know why anymore. All I know is that exhausted. Couldn’t sleep though, today is my daughters last day of kindergarten. They have a half day today and I’m taking her to the beach after, so I’m using the time that she’s gone to make snacks. 

  
I realized I didn’t finish yesterday’s post. My day finished like any typical day. 

I fried up the spam for musubis around 8am. Now I’m just letting them cool off before I make them. Plus I’m breastfeeding baby girl in hopes that she’ll take her morning nap so I can pack up for the beach. I had her in the carrier as I finished up the spam and washed dishes but things are always better without a 17 pound person on you. 

Will upload beach pics later!