Human Pacifier No More: Day 9

I only did two days last week, and I blame that on sleep deprivation. I totally underestimated this whole process. I know everyone says that no two babies are the same, but I always find myself comparing my two daughters. I figured that since it took my oldest one week to wean from breastfeeding, that it will take about a week to transition my youngest into her bed with no nighttime mommy pacifier. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Last week, there was one day where she slept for four hours straight before waking up, and it only took a minute to rock her back to sleep. I felt good when I woke up in the morning. We went to the beach that day, I remember joking with my friend that I was only going to get one good night. That joke turned into a reality. I been having horrible sleep since then.

I went out with friends last week Friday. My husband said he had no trouble putting her to bed, and she slept for SIX hours straight!! He even woke up with her and rocked her back to sleep. WHAT THE??…. Then I thought to myself, maybe it was only uphill from there. Wrong again.

This past Monday night has been the worst yet. She was waking up every one to two hours, and when she would wake up I could not rock her back to sleep. She was kicking and screaming so much that I would give up and go into the living room and turn on the TV. I would sit there watching Nick @ Nite while trying to rock or pat her back. After an hour, she would finally give in and go to sleep. When I woke up Tuesday morning, I already knew I was going to have a horrible day.

Today is Thursday, almost a whole two weeks of this transition, and there is no hope. I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel just yet. I’m so desperate for sleep that I’m debating on throwing in the towel. We shall see…..

Human Pacifier No More: Day 1

**My daughter using me as a pacifier: Human Pacifier

Last night wasn’t that bad, but I think that was because I had mentally prepared myself for a sleepless night. The whole day I was a little nervous, because I love my sleep; without it I get grouchy, develop a pounding headache, and I walk around talking gibberish not able to really focus.

11:30pm: She finally went to sleep. She’s usually a late sleeper, which I don’t mind, because I’m a late sleeper as well. Put her into her bed, woke up my 6-year-old, who fell asleep on the couch, and walked her to her bed. Baby girl’s bed used to be right next to my side of the bed, but tonight, I moved it into my 6-year-old’s room. We only have two bedrooms. Joys of base housing.

2:30am: Baby girl woke up crying. Three hours, not bad. Walked into her room and saw her standing up crying. I rocked her for a few minutes and put her back down.

5:30am: Woke up crying. Three hours again, not bad. Walked in to see her standing up and crying again. I thought it was going to take only a few minutes again, but nope. This time, she wasn’t having it. She would cry just a few seconds after I would put her down. Took me 30 minutes to finally put her down without her fussing.

6:30am: She woke up crying. This time, I was sleeping for only 30 minutes. My husband was already awake getting ready for work, so I figured I just wake her up instead of rocking her back to sleep. Picked her up from her bed and went into the living room. She was surprisingly in a good mood considering she barely got any sleep. She was playing with her toys and smiling.

7:00am: Fed her some breakfast; a mixture of dry cereal and apples, bananas, and plums.

8:00am: Breastfeed her, and she is now sleeping. I debated if I should take a nap too, because I feel like I’m drugged, but my oldest is already awake and I don’t feel like leaving her when she just woke up. So instead, I drank some shakeology, and now I’m enjoying a cup of coffee. I’m praying that I’m not a total zombie today.

Human Pacifier

I been breastfeeding for almost 9 months, and everything is good. However, I turned into her human pacifier. It started when she was around 7 months old. I was really tired one night, so when she woke up I laid her next to me in my bed and latched her on and went to sleep. When I woke up, I would put her back into her bed and that’s how the vicious cycle began. I knew she wasn’t waking up to eat, because as soon as she latched on, she would fall back asleep. She just needed me for comfort.

I know some moms wouldn’t see a problem in this, but our 6 year old already has problems sleeping on her own. She’ll start off in her bed, but will sneak into our room in the middle of the night. When she doesn’t have school, I gave up on arguing and she’s allowed to sleep with us from the start. Although we have a king sized bed, my back hurts in the morning because I’m in the middle of two kids. Plus, my husband and I just want our bed back. We want that space to be just ours again. I was a human pacifier to my first daughter and she still has sleeping problems 6 years later, so I’m trying something new this time around.

My baby’s bed used to be right next to me, but I just moved it back into her room, which she shares with her sister. I figured since my oldest doesn’t even sleep in there, it shouldn’t be a problem if my baby cries because I’m not giving in. I have already prepared myself mentally for this. I even told my friend about it in case she tries to hang out with me and I look like crap because I’m exhausted.

I already put her down to sleep, so all I can do is pray for patience, and hope that this goes by quickly.

Motherhood in a Month: June 16-17th

Totally missed yesterday. In a nutshell, worked out, paid for my car, beach day, mommy breakdown, hula practice, potluck, home, showered, then finally relaxed at 9pm

June 17th: Oldest kept waking me up telling me the time as if that was going to wake me up. Finally, when she said it was 8:45am, I said that it was summer time and I can sleep in. She was beginning to annoy me so I just woke up. 

Had breakfast and left around 10am to check the mail. My pink hair color came in. Went back home to make lunch. Baby has been in a super clingy phase the past two days and I think it got to me. My back hurts from baby wearing, and the crying and screaming was hurting my brain. She was crawling after me crying and I tried to hold it in. But when I sat her down to feed her some banana baby food and she started crying, I lost it. I cried like a baby. I hated that my oldest was there to witness it, but it wasn’t something I had planned. Today is just one of them days. 

Baby finally went down for a nap around 2:30pm. Instead of working out im choosing to do absolutely nothing. First time in 3 days where I can sit on the couch without a little person on me. 

Motherhood in a Month: June 13th

8:25am: Baby woke me up. She was in a good mood, and so was I since she let me wake up later than usual. Anything later than 7am is sleeping in to me. Hubby and I were up late with friends. They left around 2:30am, and we went to bed shortly after. I woke up still feeling tired, and with a little headache; probably from all the margaritas I had last night. Despite the lack of sleep and the small hangover, I still felt ok. After I had my shakeology and coffee, I felt a little better.

It’s 10:41am now and I still have my headache but I can still function. My daughter wanted me to draw with her and I had a fun idea. We took a bunch of papers, stapled them together, and I told her let’s make a book. We each took turns adding to the story. She started off the story with three girls playing, I added the second page with the three girls playing on the swings. My daughter loves to draw and make stories, so I thought this would be fun, she loved it. I don’t do enough of this kind of activities with her, and I’m planning on doing a lot of them this summer.

We have a party later today at 6pm. Our friends are moving away, so we’re having a going away party for them at the base pool. We’re already sunburnt from the other day, so I’m not sure if I’ll be swimming. I think we’ll just be lazy at home until the party, plus hubby is already falling asleep on the couch.

11:30am: Put baby in the carrier and went walking on the treadmill while I watched Orange is the New Black. Baby slept the entire time and woke up when I was done. Typical. We had ordered lunch from Popeyes delivery an hour earlier so it finally came shortly after I was done working out. Ate lunch, washed dishes, and now  breastfeeding baby. I’m hoping she naps because I’m tired. Nap time for mommy too. 

We finished our family book. It was actually pretty fun. The story ended up being about three girls having fun at the park, having sleepovers, and going to the beach. 

   
    

Motherhood in a Month: June 12th

Damn, I didn’t finish yesterday’s post again. It was a very eventful day, and when night came, I was tired. I’ll post some of yesterday’s pics in the end.

7:00am: Even though it is summer break and I don’t need to wake up to get my oldest ready for school, my baby woke up anyway. Sleeping in is always wishful thinking for me. My perfect morning consists of my husband watching both kids, and I’m sleeping in a totally different place where I can’t hear the kids; maybe in a hotel where I would use strictly for sleeping. If only.

I made my shakeology and coffee and was texting my mom and cousin and breastfeeding all at the same time. Multitasking at it’s best. We’re going home to Hawaii next month, so I’m planning days to see my family. My cousin is flying in the day before and I would love to see him since we’re both going to be home at the same time. Anyway, my baby fell asleep at the boob and I really needed to go to the bathroom, number 2. Put her down in her bed and rushed to the bathroom. About a few seconds into it, she wakes up crying. I tell my oldest to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t fall out. I would remove the basinet off of the playpen, but my arms are too short to put her down to sleep if it’s not there. But yet, she can stand on her own, so I’m always running as soon as I hear her wake up. So I had a super fast bathroom break, and as soon as I enter the room, she stops crying. I can never stay annoyed my babies. When I see that I have such an affect on them, my heart does a funny thing. I picked her up and just hugged and kissed her. I love my babies.

It’s 8:34am now and we’re just pretty much hanging out. My oldest has a dental appointment at 1pm, so we’re just being lazy bums until then. Baby is chewing on her toys, and the other one is drawing. Ah, I love summer break.

Went to my daughter’s dental appointment at 1pm. Everything is all good except one thing, which according to the doc, we can take care of after our vacation. We went to the exchange afterwards. I told her she could get something since she was so good during her appointment. She got fingerprint. I got two tank tops, which were on sale! Headed over to the commissary to get things for dinner. Then went to the shoppette because I want to try recreate Chili’s tropical sunrise margarita. Hopefully turns out good. 

Made dinner, folded laundry and now breastfeeding baby. She had a fever so we gave her medicine. She’s acting fussy but hope it goes away. 

Here’s some pictures from yesterday’s beach day.

Motherhood in a Month: June 10th

7:00: alarm goes off. No time to lounge around. Hubby and I have an appointment at 9am, and it takes a while to get both myself and the baby ready. Plus, I need to breastfeed her before we go.

7:15am: My oldest watches the baby while I brush my teeth. I just started brushing and baby starts crying. I bring her in the bathroom, sit her in the bumbo and finish. Do my face, brush my hair, and take the baby with me in the room so I can change. She starts screaming in the playpen. I’m done, the I remember I still need to print out a document for the appointment. I’m trying to do that while baby is screaming and trying to climb all over me. I thought I was going to snap. There I am, breastfeeding with one arm, and the other arm is trying to find the document on my computer. Internet is off. So I turn on my personal hot spot on my phone. Find the document, and send to my husband so he can print at work.

Now I’m waiting for my husband to come get me. Baby is annoying me. I just hope she gets better later. I have to read to my daughters class at 12:20pm, then go to her awards ceremony at 2pm. I can’t wait until school is out for summer. I’m exhausted.

Ok so the day ended up not being all that bad. Baby was good during our appointment. I went to my daughter’s school to read two books and that went well too. Went home, watched some Fifty Shades of Grey, then went back to the school for my daughter’s kindergarten awards. She got awards for being a great writer, always being colorful, and for always having great work and ideas. I’m so proud of her.

She’s now at a friend’s house, baby is sleeping, and I’m watching Wolf of Wallstreet. Haha, I always watch these rated R movies when the kids are busy. I’m about to cook some pork chops and potatoes so I can get it done before I need to pick up my daughter. Let’s hope the rest of my day goes by smoothly.

Motherhood in a Month: June 9th

6:45am: Baby woke me up. Took her I the living room where my oldest daughter and hubby were. I still felt sleepy so thank goodness my daughter played with her while I napped a bit. My alarm finally went off around 7, and I had to get up. My daughter is one of the star students this week, so she gets to have lunch with the teacher. Which means I need to pack her lunch. She just wanted fried rice with bacon. I made her that and in another container I put some tangerines, crackers, and mochi crunch. 

Baby was screaming the whole time I was making the packed lunch. When I was done I made my shake, coffee, then finally did my morning pee. I figured she was crying anyway might as well get everything done. 

  
Ugh. Morning didn’t start out like I wanted it to. I just hope this doesn’t reflect the way the rear of my day will be. 

10:50am: Baby has been sleeping since 9am. I was able to do a 45 minute cardio workout, plus 4 sets of push-ups and 4 sets of abs. Thank goodness my day so far wasn’t all that bad. I need to go to the post office, ATM to take out money for my daughter’s hula tuition, and commissary, so I’m just waiting for baby girl to wake up. I love mornings when I can get my workout over with. 

Around 11:30am I went to the post office to get a box my dad sent, then went commissary to get things for dinner. Went home, ate lunch, then around 1pm took a nap with the baby. I had my alarm for 2 but I woke up five minutes beside because I had to pee so bad. Woke up the baby, peed, then got ready to pick up my daughter from school. 

3:15pm: started dinner earlier because my daughter had hula practice and I wanted to cook before we left. 

4:30pm: left for hula. Baby was good and everybody took turns carrying her. She cried with some and was good with the rest. I fed her and she passed out. 

  
Got home around 7pm, ate dinner, showered, and watched the second episode of Extreme Weight Loss. I’m feeding the baby in hopes that she sleeps soon so I can go to bed.

Motherhood in a Month: June 8th

7:00am: Alarm woke me up. Baby was in bed with me. We had a rough night. She’s teething, so she was very uncomfortable last night. She woke up every hour in her bed. Then when I tried to nurse her in bed and co-sleep, she grumbled and whined. Her bed, my bed, nothing worked. I’m exhausted, so when I woke up I knew I was desperately in need of coffee.

7:30am: Made my shakeology and coffee, and got out a jar of Bananas and Strawberries for the baby. Multitasked and fed the baby, drank my shakeology and coffee, and made sure my oldest was ready for school. Thank goodness this is the last week of school. I love summer time; I get my babies with me all day, and I get to sleep in.

Thursday is the last day of school, and I promised my daughter since it’s a half day that we can go to the pool afterwards. If the pool is closed then we can go to the beach. That is, if it’s a nice day. It’s been raining lately, so I hope mother nature gives us a break this week.

Now I’m breastfeeding baby girl in hopes that she takes her morning nap already so I can exercise.

So she didn’t take a nap. I managed to do a 15 minute HIIT workout, about 20 minutes of the sculpting workout, then she started getting fussy. Put her in the carrier and walked on the treadmill for about 35 minutes. She took a little nap in the carrier but as soon as I put her in the bed she woke up smiling. 

Lunch time was a little frustrating. I was starving, probably because I worked out extra, so all I wanted to do was to pig out on my spinach omelette and turkey bacon. Buuuuut baby was climbing all over me, falling down, crying, whining. I just wanted to scream, but I was too weak. I was so hungry. 

Now, my 6 year old is home playing with her friend and baby girl fell asleep at the boob. Just when I thought things were good, my oldest gives me attitude. She always acts like this when a friend is over. Brat. 

Motherhood in a Month: June 7th

7:00am: Baby girl wakes me up, I go into the living room. She plays for about ten minutes, gets fussy, I breastfeed her and we both fall back asleep. 

10:10am: we finally wake up. Now that’s what I call sleeping in. Feels good. Baby girl starts playing with her toys, I check my phone as I hear my oldest daughter and hubby playing Clash of Clans behind me. I make me shakeology and coffee and check my facebook. Then, little miss thing totally picks herself up on the couch and starts side stepping. My 6 month old is growing way too fast for me!

  

We decided to go out for lunch again. Haha eating out during the weekends is our thing. I chose my favorite soba place. Last time we were here, baby girl was little and slept the whole time. Now, she’s over 6 months and was able to sit at the table with us. Hubby fed her some rice but majority of the time she chewed on her toy. 

   

Speaking of chewing, along with her two bottom teeth growing, we just found out one of her top teeth just broke through! That’s probably why it hurts so much when she bites me when I’m nursing her. Ouch! That’s the main reason why I wanted to stop breastfeeding, but my emotions trumps that. I’m just not ready. I felt sad that one morning when I tried to wean her. The bond is so great, I can’t just end it; especially if this might be my last one. 

After lunch we went to Don Quiote. I needed more Polaroid film and my daughter got some Tsum Tsum stationary. Our night was typical. Dinner, TV, games on our phones and iPad, shower, then bed.